Busy, Busy, Happily Busy

Days have been busy and enjoyable!!! The weather today is spectacular!!! 72 degrees currently with a high around 78 expected! I love spring and summer and fall...winter tends to get me down and overwhelmed. However, my spirits are high and I am loving this life!!!!
I love, love, love my hubby!!! WE are going out on a DATE tonight (yes, a date with NO children- Thank you David and Julie) and I am really looking forward to it. We went on a walk yesterday...and I just loved it (especially watching Ariana and Lillian who were best friends at that moment...and they are best buds most of the time.) Since completing school, we've been able to spend time together and I am really enjoying it. And I love watching him with the kids.
I too am loving my children sooo very much today. Ariana has been a sweet heart and Lillian cuddled with me in bed this morning...it was soo fun!!! Ethan is such a cutie!!!! I can't believe he is 6 months!! He is sooo close to crawling..I know it will be anyday now.
The last few weeks, I have had the privilage of leading our Ladies group. I love teaching and enjoy sharing things that the Lord has taught me. Mind you, the lessons haven't been the easiest, but my greatest times of growth have also been my greatest times of struggle. I spoke on two Psalms, 77 and 64, and used many thoughts from a book I have recently enjoyed entitled, "A Deeper Kind of Calm" by Linda Dillow. I have been through many struggles in the last few years. Mainly struggleing with the stresses of haveing a Hubby in school and working 40 + hours and being pregnant 6 times in 5 years and dealing with the early births, loss of children, and busyness of house. And yet, those are the times that the Lord has taught me to Cling to Him, to hold on the the Truth that He is soverign over all things in my life and that He is working out His glorious plan in my life. It was such an honor and privilage to share the Word of God with these ladies, and I pray that His words will be remembered! I am not particularly anxious to go through any more trying times, but more than anything I want to grow in my relationship with Christ- grow in grace and knowlege of Him. No matter where the Lord leads.
My husband purchased a new Bible for me...the ESV journaling Bible and a new book, "Damsels in Distress" by Martha Peace. I am excited to get into the book and to see how the new Bible will aid in my study.
Well...I am not a great keeper upper with my xanga, so I thought I would update! Hope you all are enjoying the lovely weather as much as I am!!!!
Grace and peace.

Here is a somewhat recent picture of our little boy! I can't believe he's 6 months now!!!! He's so hansome and looks just like his daddy.

Check This Out

The ladies at Girl Talk are interviewing Noël Piper on their blog. Check it out. She is the wife of John Piper. I have read one of her books and a few of her husbands. They are a neat couple whom the Lord is using greatly in the lives of others! I know they have influenced my life! So, hop on over there and check it out!

More on Rest

Sickness has sapped the energy from my sweet Ana, and she lookes sooo sick and unrested. Please pray for her to get over this nasty flu bug!!!
The snow here is beautiful today...sun shining and glistening on the snow. Lillybug enjoyed the snow with our sweet neighbor girl. I know she had a great time. Ethan and I have cuddled some, although not as much as we did last week when he was cutting his first two teeth. I can't believe my baby has teeth!!! He is growing and changing fast. Time definitely goes by so fast!!!
Meditating on Hebrews has me thinking alot on Rest these days (especially since I feel like I don't always get alot of rest). There is alot of repetition on not entering God's rest if we've hardened our hearts. This passage has me thinking alot on the rest that we have in our Salvation. We believed and therefore have entered into the "rest of God". I think we try to earn our salvation and there is great rest in knowing Christ has completed the work of the cross making it possible for us to have peace with God. What rest there is when we realize it is not about us working to earn God's favor, but rather resting in what Christ has done on the cross and knowing His work has brought about God's favor on us. God is daily calling people to His rest. He says TODAY to enter His rest...not tomorrow...not a month from now...but TODAY. And yet, so many are still striving to earn favor with God. I am so thankful to know that I have this "rest" that is spoken of, but I know there is more "rest" that comes from God. There is the "rest" we have from drawing strength from Him each day. Rest given us we are pierced by the Word of the Lord as our hearts are "naked and exposed" to His eyes, He the righteous judge. Rest that comes from holding our faith knowing we have a great High Priest in Jesus Christ who understands our weaknesses and brings our cries before the Father. Rest in knowing I can lay everything at His throne and know that grace and mercy is there for each moment of need that I have. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for REST. Rest this moment, this hour, this day, and for all eternity!!!!
Do you have His rest today????

Rest and Time with the LORD

This morning was wonderful. I don't know why I can't seem to remember the wonderfulness of mornings like this and GET UP and do it again. I had some great time with the LORD this morning (I'm reading through Hebrews) and was reminded again how THE LORD gives REST! I read these verses this morning:
"Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says, 'Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion, on the day of testing in the wilderness, where your fathers put me to the test and saw my works for forty years. Therefore I was provoked with that generation and said, 'They always go astray in their heart; they have not known my ways.' As I swore in my wrath,' They shall not enter my rest.'" (Hebrews 3:7-11)
I know that Jesus has said, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”(Mt. 11:27-30) and yet I continually look elsewhere to find rest for my weary soul. For example, when I am tired I sleep (not that that isn't sometimes needed) but often times I equate my weariness for sleepiness when in fact life is wearing on me and I need to find rest in Him! I need to return to the place of rest, the presence of the Most Holy and Awesome God.
"Gracious is the Lord, and righteous;our God is merciful. The Lord preserves the simple;when I was brought low, he saved me. Return, O my soul, to your rest;for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you." (Ps. 116:9-11)
I am feeling restored today, and am looking forward to seeing what the LORD has in His plans for me

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REST

Often times I find myself in weariness of soul,
Lord, help me to remember that You are in control.
You use that time to draw me back to the place of quiet rest
I come away, my heart restored, my weary soul refreshed.
With You, my Lord, is peace and joy and strength for every day
Keep me abiding in Your presence as I journey on life's way.

A hearts Cry

Where does one go when they are utterly exhausted????
"My flesh and my heart faileth; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever....But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord God, that i may declare all thy works". Ps. 73:26,28 (KJV)
I sure feel like I am failing miserably in my flesh today. I know I have been trying to do way too much on my own..and I am reaping the consequences. One cannot manage a home, raise children in a righteous way, be a good helpmeet without the strength of the LORD and I have not been faithful in relying on Him. I am much more apt to try and do it on my own.
Oh, LORD, please forgive my failings and forgive me for my pride and arrogance. I need you to be my strength. Please draw me to you...give me a thirst for you that I sooo desparately long for and need. Help me to trust that what you have given me is truly good and is your best for me. Please help me to always glorify you in the tough days and in the good days. Please give this weary mom rest in You!

The Honor of the King

Days have been busy...we are enjoying having Andy home in the evenings and have found various ways to encourage and minister to others. I have been busy caring for our children and home and have desires to grow more in my walk with the LORD this year.
So many exciting changes are taking place this year, my sister is getting married, my cousin is expecting a baby, and Lord willing more exciting things will happen. However, as I have enjoyed today and yesterday watching a theatrical rendition of the Biblical account of Esther, I am reminded that nothing happens by chance and that all is part of the honor and Glory of God. I am only a small part of His plan, I am sure, and I only pray that He will complete His plan for me in His good time and way. Until then, may I seek to be "to the praise of His glorious grace" (Ephesians).

"While we continue onward in the face of a world filled with uncertainty, we can rejoice, for hidden within its mysteries is the honor of a King." exerpt from the film, "One Night with the King"

I just love Christmas time!!! How grateful I am that the Lord of Heaven and Earth was born as a babe and willingly gave His life to pay for my sin! I am so grateful that He fulfilled the purpose ordained for Him for the honor and glory of His name!!! As we finish this year out, there are some things I am incredibly grateful for and desire to praise the Lord for:
Praise the Lord Andy completed his last semester of college!!!! What a blessing...long time in comming it seems. He has worked so hard and I am so grateful for the grace the Lord poured out on Andy as he completed school!!! Congratulations, my dear!
Praise the Lord for the beautiful daughers the Lord has blessed us with. Ariana is 4 and has just been a huge help and encouragement to me. She has a desire to please and we are praying that she will desire the Lord and want to please Him. Pray for her heart to be tender to Him and to trust Him to save her. Lillian is a sweetheart and I can't believe how the Lord has worked in her life. I am completely amazed that she is here and healthy. She is rather stubborn, but we hope to curve it to more useful things


Praise the Lord for the addition of a little boy into our family. I must admit that this entire year was a test of faith. I didn't know what the Lord would have in store for us...and I am constantly learning that He holds each one of my children's lives and I need to joyfully surrender them to Him everyday! Ethan is a great joy and a testimony to me that we truly don't know what He has in store for us. He is 3 months today and rolling over like a pro. He seems soooo little! How blessed we are to have such a healthy baby!!!!!

Praise the Lord for growing me and teaching me more of the desire He has for His glory and for the honor of His name. I am seeking to make it my daily prayer that I will glorify His name even as Jesus Christ did. I am also learning and seeking to bring Him glory in my daily duty's of caring for my husband and children. He has given me such a big responsibility and I pray that He will give me His strength and grace that I my glorify Him.
As you celebrate the Son's birth, I pray that you will be able to see Him working in your lives and in your families and that you can glorify Him for the great things He has done!!!!
Merry Christmas from the Petz Family!

Remembering a Holy Night

As we put up our tree and lights today, we had Christmas music on! I love Christmas music! I love remembering our Saviour's birth and why He came- to save a wretch like me as the old hymn goes. Knowing my unworthiness makes me even more grateful that He chose me to be in Him before the foundation of the world...how amazing is that!!! And He did that for the praise of His glory! Oh, that my life would constantly proclaim the glory and praise of the Lord! And yet...I falter everyday and often times fail to rely on Him.
As I listened to the music, the song "O Holy Night" came on in a beautiful instramental arrangement. As I sung the words I've known for years, I teared up.

"O Holy night! the stars are brightly shining - it is the night of the dear Savoir's birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining- til He appeared, and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope, the weary soul rejoices, For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices! O night divine, O night when Christ was born!
O night divine, O night, O night divine!" ~Placide Cappeau, translated by John Sullivan Dwight

How amazing to think of the birth of Jesus. I can see how the people could have missed this awesome moment- God as a babe- for I often forget and am hardened against the reality of what He did for me. He gave me worth- worth in Himself, He gave me hope- hope of reconcilliation to Him, He gave me joy- joy in abiding in His presence forevermore! The result of this knowledge should cause me to fall on my knees and worship the Lord of Hosts!
This season, I ask that you would pray that I would worship and serve Him only, not myself or earthly pleasures...I will be doing the same for you.

"Truly He taught us to love one another; His law is love and His Gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother and in His name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we, Let all within us praise His holy Name!
Christ is the Lord! O praise His name forever! His pow'r and glory evermore proclaim!
His pow'r and glory evermore proclaim!" ~Placide Cappeau, translated by John Sullivan Dwight

Basking in God's Grace

I know that it has been a very long time since I have written. Life with 3 children is much diffrent than life with 2. Ethan is just over 6 weeks old! I cannot believe how much time has flown by. In the last six weeks, all of us, but Ethan, struggled with illness. Andy got sick twice, as well as had some big projects due and so life has consisted of school and recovery. We now have 5 and a half weeks left and then Andy is done!!! Yea!!! He just recieved word on what he will be doing at his job once school is over and it will be a day job (yeah...no more nights) and will be from 8 'til 5 or 6 and every other Sat. 'til noon. He will begin the week before Christmas! I am hoping that it will be a good job for him.
As a mom, I am learning alot....mostly how appreciative of my mom I need to be. I don't know how anyone with more than a couple of children do things...and I know why people think 3 is alot of children...it is alot. I have found that my lovely daughters find mischief while I am nursing Ethan and the result has been trying to build sand castles out of flour in both the kitchen and the dining room as well as toothpaste everywhere. I often find myself just happy to get anything accomplished and doublely happy if there is not an added job in a day. :) However, the girls love their brother and are very helpful in good ways and I appreciate their willingness to help. Ethan is a doll, and is quite smart which scares me to some extent. Last Thurs. he impressed the doctor with his ability to smile, coo, and roll over...all accomplished before 6 weeks!!! I think he will be a busier baby than my girls. He is however extremely content and sleeps anywhere from 5-7 hour stretch at night. Most nights I am only up once between 9ish and 6ish. I cannot complain about the sleep.
I am also learning that I must, MUST, rely on the stregth of the Lord every day. If not, I am a very cranky mom and am unable to be the example I know God desires me to be for my children and am an ungrateful wife, unable to meet the needs of my husband because I am too busy complaining. So, I am learning submission and abandonment to my God in ways that I have not learned to do. I am praying that each stuggle and challenge will in turn make me more like Christ. I so long to be like Him....and yet have soooo very far to go.
"And He said to me, ' My grace is sufficient for you, for MY strength is made perfect in weakness...'". (II Cor. 12:9)
"He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater, He sendeth more strength when the labors increase;
To added affliction He addeth His mrecy, To multiplied trials His multiplied peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance, When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources, Our Father's full giving is only begun.
His love has no limit, His grace has no measure, His pow'r has no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus He giveth and giveth and giveth again!"
~ Annie Johnson Flint
(I was going to post a new picture of Ethan, but my sweeet boy would rather have some attention...so I will try to do so later!

Introducing Ethan Andrew

Introducing Ethan Andrew
"It is good to give thanks to the Lord, to sing praises to your name, O Most High." Ps. 92:1
God has been soooo gracious!!!! We are rejoicing in the birth of Ethan Andrew. He is sooooo precious.

We arrived at the hospital at 5am on September 22nd, and began induction at 6:30ish. They upped my pitocin as high as it could go around 7 and we waited. And we waited. And we waited. After a long and difficult day, he was born at 11:47pm and I am pleased to say that the VBAC was a success!!! He weighed 7lbs. 2oz. and was 20in. long. He is just beautiful and we are really enjoying him alot. The girls think he's the best!!!

We are really enjoying him, and praise the Lord for the addition to our family. Children are a heritage from Him and we ask that you would pray with us that we would be used of Him to raise these precious charges for Him!!!













Rejoice with us!!!!!

Friday

We are officially in the last days of pregnancy. Due to my lovely history, if I don't deliver before Friday, we will head to the hospital at 5 Friday morning and begin induction!!! I am sooo excited about meeting Ethan and can't wait for him to make his appearance. So, I would ask that you all pray that I have a safe, good delivery and that the VBAC would go well...and if I do end up having to have a c-section that I will have a good spirit about it. I really don't want a c-section, but we'll see what God has in store. Until then, I will leave you with this verse:
"This God-his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him." Ps. 18:30
Desiring His ways,
Amy

Some Thoughts for Today

September 11th is a day Americans will never forget. It is a day that changed lives and continues to affect lives even today. It happened less than a month after Andy and I were married. I remember watching it happen on T.V. It's a day I will never forget.
Last year's September 11ths is also a day I will never forget. Last year, somewhere between 1:30 and 2:00am, I was in the emergency room and our son, Nathan Joel, was with God in eternity. It was a shock as I ahd made it well past my other miscarriages and assumed smooth sailing through the rest of my 2nd trimester until the end when I"ve usually struggled with Preeclampsia. Instead, God had other plans- taking Nathan home to HIm. The next Sunday, I sang the song "In Christ Alone" and wept because I learned by experience that those words were true. The words of the final verse hit me the most:

"No guilt in life, No fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power in hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll live"

Learning about Christ's Soverignty in such a personal way changed my thinking about alot of things. He holds the lot of my life (Ps. 16:5), He has ordained all my days, from the first breath to the last (Ps. 139:16), He not only ordained the number, but planned my salvation and the works that I would do for His honor and glory (Eph. 2:8-10). Not only that, but He planned all of Nathan's 15 and a half weeks in my womb. And His plan was for Nathan to never taste of the sinfulness and rottenness of this world and to only know the joy and peace and gloriousness of worshipping in God's presence always. I too can enjoy a portion of the same Joys Nathan is experiencing in heaven here on earth as I seek Him and strive to abide in His presence (Ps. 16:11). And one day, I will join Nathan in praising God forever and ever....let me tell you, heaven gets sweeter and sweeter. Until then, I have the same power that raised Christ from the dead at my disposal that I may spend my time here on earth bringing God pleasure and honor and glory because the Holy Spirit lives in me and gives me power to daily live for the Lord. If only I utilized that power more!

This September 11th, I am basking in something diffrent- the undeserved grace and mercy of God in my life. I carry within me, evidence that God is working in my life and is at this moment choosing to pour grace on the son I carry within me- allowing him to grow healthy and strong in my womb. Not only that, but I have enjoyed a problem-free pregnancy which to me has been another demonstration of His grace in my life. I am anxious to meet Ethan and pray that I will be used by God to train him in the ways of God and share with Him all that God has taught me. For now, I am learning, as did Job, that " The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away, blessed be the name of the LORD" (Job 1:21) and "I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted." (Job 42:2) I am excited and anticipate what the Lord has in store for the rest of this pregnancy and the rest of my life!!!

"Have Thine Own Way, Lord, Have thine own way
Thou art the potter, I am the clay
Mold me and make me after Thy will
While I am waiting, yeilded and still."

Encouragement

I found this prayer yesterday while I was reading through one of my notebooks of things that I have saved to be reminded of. I was struck by the words and thought I would share it with you all (crazy...2 posts in a row!). I pray that you will be encouraged by the words even as I was.

My Prayer” ~ Author Unknown
Teach me, Lord, to keep sweet and gentle in all the events of life, in disappointments, in thoughtlessness of others, in the insincerity of those I trusted, in the unfaithfulness of those on whom I relied.

Help me to put myself aside, to think of the happiness of others, to hide my little pains and heartaches, so that I may be the only one to suffer from them.

Teach me to profit by the suffering that comes to me. Help me to use it that it may mellow me, not harden or embitter me, that it may make me broad in my forgiveness, kindly, sympathetic, and helpful.

34 weeks 3 days and counting!!!!

I honestly cannot believe that I am over 34 weeks!!!! I must admit that I am getting really anxious to meet this little one. It feels like time is going slow, but at the same time, it is going really fast as well.
I feel like I am ready. Mostly. Andy starts school tomorrow and I am not looking forward to that, but what can one do. At least there is only one semester left!!! Then we are done! Yeah!!!!
Yesterday I meditated on Psalm 16. It is an incredible Psalm. As I anticipate our "new arriaval", I was really encouraged by some of these verses:
vs. 2~ "I say to the LORD,'You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you'"
vs. 5-6 ~ " The LORD is my chosen protion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance"
vs 8-11~ " I have set the LORD always before me; becasue he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to sheol, or let your holy one see corrupton. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence is fullness of joy; at your fight hand are pleasures forevermore."

These verses have been a great encouragement to me. I really want to have everything go smoothly for the rest of this pregnancy, but if it doesn't God alone is enough. He is the greatest good that I have, He holds my today and tomorrows, because I am His I live secure in Him, He is where there is fullness of joy and pleasures always... He is to be my delight and joy and where I take the most pleasure in. It is not easy, because there are some very precious things to me here on this earth (my husband and children), but He must come first. I really am working on making that my goal and focus. I need to make that my goal and focus.
So, while I wait for this child, my hope is that no matter what happens, He will be the sole desire and pleasure of my heart.

Busy Preparations

This has been a good and busy week. Andy is still working days and will be doing so again next week. It's kindof funny how you long for one thing and when you get it, it's not as nice as you thought it would be. That's how we feel about days. Maybe when he's done with school, our perspective on it will change a bit, but for now with all my dr's appointments and other various tasks, it's challenging to have him on days. I am so thankful for all the help others have given from watching the kids to letting me use a vehicle so I can get all my errands done.

I was able to have a lady that I have spoken to only a few times over this week and I really enjoyed my conversations with her. She has 5 children and just had their first girl. It was really nice to chat with her and I am hoping to get to know her better as I know she will be a great encouragement.

I think I may be losing some weight, or atleast some fat, on my new "diet". I haven't followed it completely and my levels have been well below where they need to be so that is encourageing. Ethan is growing and I can feel him moving often although the movements are more strong and definitive and really rarely the 'flutter' of light movement. I must say I am getting very anxious to meet this little guy and yet praying that he continues to stay put. We are a week past when Lillian was born, so I feel like every week is an added blessing. I see the Dr. on Monday and am excited to see what their thoughts are concerning the rest of this pregnancy. I know that they will be watching me weekly but as far as the rest of their plans for me, I don't know. I have begun to pray more for a normal delivery and would love to do a VBAC. Please pray for me that I will be accepting of whatever delivery God has planned for me and that if it's a c-section or VBAC that I will be able to be a shining testimony of His glory.

I have begun reading through Psalms. I like to meditate on them as delivery gets closer. They are packed full with God-ward thoughts and I desire to have those thoughts permiate my mind. I meditated Psalm 2 one day this week, and I think that it is so amazing to think that God is in control of the nations!!!! His power and plan will prevail for the nations of the world. That had me think of how amazing and awesome it is that not only does God care for the nations, but He cares for me as His child. His plans for me will prevail no matter what!!! What a promise from the Lord....I must admit....I can't wait to see what His plans for me are.

I have also begun to prepare Ariana's school for 3 months. I want to be ready so we can begin shortly after Ethan is born. I can't believe that I am doing school with my oldest. Granted it is only pre-school, but I can't believe how big she is getting. As I prepare for this, I have been praying that not only will she learn skills to aid in her life, but that she will trust Christ as her Saviour and be a shining example of a godly woman to the world around her. It is a daunting task when I think about it, but I pray that it won't be me building her life, but that it will be the Lord through me. Pray that things fall together quickly for school so that we won't be bogged down with school stuff but will be able to enjoy Ethan as well.

How grateful I am that God is enthroned above. It makes the uncertainty of future things not so scary when I remember who is in control!!!! I hope that I never forget that.

Philippians 4 Reminder

"Rejoice in the Lord always, again I will say, Rejoice. Let you reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." ~ Philippians 4: 4-8

Yesterday, I was encouraged by my mother-in-law to read Philippians 4. She had been reading it that morning and was blessed by the Lord in some amazing ways (both spiritually and physcially). As I meditated on this chapter, again these particualr verses stuck in my mind. Why, you may ask? Because controlling my thought life, particularly the area of worrying, is a never- ending task it seems in my life. My dear husband is always reminding me of these verses and sadly I don't always appreciate the reproof. However, we are commanded in the Word of God to Rejoice in the Lord. Not just when our lives are going great and according to *our* plans, but also when things arn't happening in the way we see fit. God has given to us a means to achieving peace when we feel like there can be none....prayer. We are to not be anxious but instead bring our prayers and petitions to God who alone can give us the peace that passes all understanding. As we surrender to Him, He gives us the peace and guards our hearts and our minds. As we surrender this control, we too need to yeild the determination to take our thoughts captive and focus on what is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, praiseworthy and excellent. And who would give us the ability to do that? Again, our great and awesome God. Everytime I think that *I* have to do something (now I am not discounting our responsibility), I realize that He is the one who provides the grace to do what pleases Him. I cannot do it by willing it myself...He alone can give the strength.

I am seeing that I must focus on these thoughts alot in the days and weeks ahead. I am nearing the point where I delivered our precious Lillian. While my blood pressure is still behaving itself as of now, my body still is not responding to this pregnancy in a completely positive way...I do have gestational diabetes. So, I am meeting with a dietician tomorrow and will also meet with a diabetic counselor (or something like that) sometime as well so that I can get this blood sugar thing under control. My initial reaction is " if it's not one thing, it's another". Sometimes, in my mind, I am questioning why? Why do I continually have problem after problem in my pregnancies? Why can't things just go normally and not add more stress to my life? But, then agian I am reminded that I need to not worry but turst in the fact that all things are working out in my life for my good and ultimately for the Glory of the Lord. I am realizing that I must remember that above all things. He is doing it for His glory...and I am amazed that He would even chose me for that honor. So while in my flesh I am not thrilled about this latest complication, I am most grateful for His soverignty and ask that you would pray with me that God will be glorified throughout the remainder of this pregnancy.

An Ever Interesting Life

Well, I am alone this weekend...well not really, Lillybug is home with me. Andy took Ana to my cousins wedding and as Ana is the flowergirl, I really feel like I'm missing out on some fun! However, I am glad we chose to stay home especially as I carry Ethan. I will look forward to seeing pictures and am rejoicing with them in their marriage.

It's been a busy and relaxing week with Andy off. We have been able to rest some and we even went out on a date!!! I don't remember the last time we went out alone. It was so nice to know that the girls were being cared for by someone we trusted and we were able to really enjoy our time out even though we both were exhausted. I found a plaque for Ethan's room that says "Thank Heaven for Little Boys" and it matches his nursry bedding perfectly. I have found some cute clothes for him and am beginning to feel like things are coming together for his upcoming birth. I still need to finish getting essentials like diapers and such, but other than that, I am hoping we will be ready within the next month.

I can't believe that I am 28 weeks!!! It is sooo exciting. It's also hard to believe Lillybug was born 2 weeks from now! That is truly unbelievable. So far nothing has been unusual on the Preeclampsia front which I am very grateful for. However, I would like to ask for your prayers as I recieved a high result on my 1 hour glucose test, so I am going to have to do the 3 hour glucose test. I really don't want to have that test come back bad, so I would appreciate any prayers on that.

Andy will be working days the next few weeks and that is going to add quite a bit of fun to our lives. It will be strange having him gone during the day, but at home in the evenings. It definitely will make any pregnancy appointments interesting as I try to find time to get the things done I need to get done. But having him home in the evenings will sure help as I am soooo tired alot these days.

God's soverignty has really been on my mind alot these days. I am so glad that God is in control. It is sooo hard for me to remember that sometimes, but it sure is a comfort to know that God is always on His Throne.

Busy Days

This week has been fun and busy!!! We had company from Friday last week until Wed. this week. My sister in law had her baby a few weeks ago and her family was in town and stayed with us. It was very fun to have them here. The girls really enjoyed it! Monday, we began our 5 day club and that went pretty good...except today we had no kids...but mine. Ariana has really enjoyed it.

I have had 3 appointments this week. The first was just a normal visit...Ethan is doing great and so am I. My cervix is still closed (which is what we want) and he is very low!!! I had an internal exam done and the doctor could feel him down low. I am getting alot bigger and more uncomfortable...but I am sooo grateful to be carrying this child. I went in for another appointment due to some unusual swelling in my leg and today I had an ultrasound done to make sure I had no clots. Everything looked fine...I just have to take it easy and when I'm up alot, wear my lovely support hose. In this heat...I am not too anxous about that.

Andy will be on vacation next week and we are ready for some family time! I hope it is restful for him.

God has been so gracious to us. We have had an enjoyable week and are excited for our weekend (my sister is flying into an airport near us and I will be able to see her) and looking forward to good time with family.

God's Ways

I just finished watching one of my favorite movies with my girls. It is "Jospeh, King of Dreams" a Dreamworks picture. I have enjoyed the movie for awhile now, but once again it has reminded me of God's great soverignty in our lives. So many times it is easy to "buck" whatever circumstances are happening in our lives or to resist the things that God wants to do in our lives. We forget that He has a plan and a purpose that is for His honor and Glory. Look at the life of Joseph. God used his trials and hardships to save Israel. Now, I don't think that my life is necessarily going to save a group of people, however, I do know that God has a great plan for my life that will fulfill His purpose for me and the ultimate plan He has. I need to remember that no matter what happens, God knows best and His way is the way that I want to direct my life.

I am about 26 weeks pregnant and have been really fretting over the next while. I like to "control" things, and I have been determining to make sure that I am prepared for whatever circumstances come up in this pregnancy - whether another preemie or a full term baby. I don't like surprises and I don't like getting thrown into unplanned circumstances. So, the movie tonight was a great reminder to me to let God have His way in my life and to not fret over the future....He already knows it and is working on creating a beautiful masterpiece in my life...even in this pregnancy. So, while I must DAILY learn to surrender each moment...and not get caught up in the "if this happens" mentality... I must learn to anticipate the Great and Awesome things that He is going to do. I am so grateful fot the time I've already had with Ethan and I am so excited to deliver him and to see what God is going to do in him even what He will teach me through Ethan's life.

"This God- his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him. 'For who is God, but the LORD? And who is a rock, except our God? This God is my strong refuge and he has made my way blamesless.'" (II Samuel 22:31-33)

Latest News

Wow! I can't believe that it is June 2nd! Almost a whole month since my last entry. Things have been busy here. We finished Andy's school in May, I went to MI for a week to spend time with my family before I will no longer travel ( I have been waiting for a safe time to go...even though I feel like no time is really 'safe'), and now I am anxiously waiting for my sister in law to go into labor and have their baby girl!!! I love babies!

I feel like I have really been going trough some challenging times. I am still hashing over some things, but am feeling more direction through Scripture as to my thinking. I know that God is working out some things in my life, and I can't wait to see what He does in my life. He is such a great teacher and I pray that I will be a diligent learner.

Tomorrow I will be 23 weeks pregnant! I cannot believe it. After 2 losses, I didn't know if the Lord would allow me to have another, but here we are at 23 weeks and I admit I am really excited. I started going through baby boy clothes (how strange is that!) and I am looking forward to starting to work on our nursery. Because of my lovely Obstetric history, I want to be ready by the beginning of July just incase I see Bedrest or Preterm Birth. I really can't believe that we had Lillian 7 weeks from now! I am feeling like I am getting really big...and I've gained more weight than I would have liked at this point. Ethan is moving constantly and I love the feeling of "life". I really think that pregnancy is such an awesome time. Granted...it's never easy for me, but I love the thought of our child growing and moving in me. I am reminded DAILY that God has entrusted these children to Andy and my's care and We need to seek His wisdom to raise them for His honor and glory. I love my girls and I can't wait to meet our son. Please continue to pray as I have an ultrasound on Wednesday of next week and then I start a new test on Friday. I will take this test every 2 weeks until 28 weeks. After that....I will start a new phase. So far, the Lord has been very gracious and we have had a problem-free pregnancy thus far.

Hopefully I won't wait so long to update or write next time.

Soli Deo Gloria!!!!!!