Friday, April 21, 2006


Yesterday, I had another cervical ultrasound scan. It went cervix is still good!!! BUT, the best surprise was when they decided to take a peak at our baby!!! It was so fun to watch our baby move and to see a good strong heartbeat!!! It was amazing!!! And even more amazing was that they let us find out what our baby is. We weren't planning on finding out for 2 more weeks, but we'll take the news whenever we can get it. And we found out that we are expecting a baby BOY!!!! We are sooo excited. The name we have chosen (and have had chosen since Ariana) is Ethan Andrew (sorry Kyle...maybe we'll think about that name for our next boy!). So, as you think and pray for me and this pregnancy (which we pray will continue to go in a positive direction), please pray for our son, Ethan, to grow healthy and strong!

"...My heart exults in the LORD; my strength is exalted in the LORD!!!!!" (I Sam. 2:1 ~ a prayer of exultation that I sing even as Hannah did!)

Thursday, April 13, 2006

If I thought waiting was hard....

...I was mistaken, because modified bedrest is harder. I thought others were easier to listen to too...but that was wrong too...Dr's can't give assurance.

Again I am sitting here, praying and waiting to see what the LORD is going to do. My visit was okay. The baby looked good (what we saw...mainly the heartbeat beating at 167 bpm) and my cervix went from alittle over 4cm to 3.5cm. Not something extrordinarily worrisome...but not what I was wanting to hear. On top of that I found out I have a low- lying placenta. Also something not extrodinarily worrisome, just another new experience I feel I could do without. Then as I shared some concerns I had with pressure on my cervix, I was told that I will need to get help with my children and housework during the day. I am to take it easy and get some help (for all of you who know is something I need alright!!! ) So, another lesson to be learned....

Humility. I must take this moment to thank my mother for my birthday gift, "Humily" by C.J. Mahany. I believe that I will not want to wait to finish "The Pleasures of God" before I begin that, because I need a BIG dose of it now. I am one who loves to do things for others, and I especially like to do things myself. However, I am going to need to rely on the blessings of others for the remainder of this pregnancy, however long it may be. I am not particularly keen on least not in a semi-permanant way...because I don't have a problem talking others into letting me help them, but I don't always have enough humility to allow others to help me. So, I ask for prayer for humility. I so feel like others have blessed us beyond what we need, and now in my time of need, I need to accept the help of others. As difficult as it may be, I need to humble myself, let go of my pride, and allow God to work....through others.

He's already blessing. A godly woman at our church heard about my appointment and has offered to get women of the church to come and do major cleaning 1 day a week! That truly is a blessing! I also have dear friends who are offering their time and assistance even though their lives are also busy.

Jesus Christ gave us the greatest example of humility. I can't imagine the putting aside of His rights as God to pay the penalty for my sin. I am humbled, amazed, and ashamed. I need to follow my Saviour and put aside my right to do My home, and instead obey my doctor and do as he suggests, for he is the one the LORD brought to watch over me and my babe, though God ultimately holds this child. Lord, may I follow you in your example. Humbling myself and committing myself to the Father even as you did. Create in me a heart that obeys and that submits to the work you want to do in my life as well as the lives of others. I love you.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Learning to Wait

I used to laugh at myself when I would talk about how anxious I was for the next exciting thing to happen. First it was graduating High School. Then it was marrying my best friend, Andy. Then it was anxiously waiting for our first child, a daughter, to arrive. Since then, I feel like I do a myriad of waiting everysingle day. And with all that practice (you think I would be getting good), I am still disliking waiting!!!!

Tomorrow, I meet with the specialist again. Last week was kindof fun...(minus the cervical ultrasound) we got to see our baby (for the 4th time this pregnancy) as well as recieve the assurance that everything is going good for now. I was really relieved and less stressed about this pregnancy...until the start of this week. I got nervous Monday and have still been waiting to see how things are going. You see, we lost our son, Nathan Joel, last September around this time in the pregnancy. I am so anxious to get further along (like another 10 weeks under my belt), and yet I thought, "If I got relived about what this doctor said, why can I not be relieved when I read the truths for me in God's Word?"

I've determined because it's easier to rely on man, and once you get some word, it's easy to forget and cease to rely on the Heavely Father. However, God wants us to find pleasure and delight in Him. He wants our source of joy and strength to come fom trusting HIM.

So, now what do I do? For now, I know I need to bathe myself in the Word and memorize verses that will help me to focus on Him. I also need to continue to wait and really seek to understand what Waiting on the Lord really means...and then apply it to my life.

I certainly covet prayers on behalf of this little baby growing in me....and I also covet prayes that I will become the person God desires me to be and that I will trust in Him no matter what comes my way.

"The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?...One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple. For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock...Hear, O LORD, when I cry aloud; be gracious to me and answer me! You have siad, "Seek my face." My heart sayd to you, ' Your face, LORD, do I seek'. Hide not your face from me....I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!" ~Psalm 27: 1,4-5, a7-9a, 13-14

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Seeing the Specialist today

I have really been working on trying to stay calm...not always working, but I am learning to Trust the Lord in new ways (or maybe they are old ways since the Lord is always teaching me trust in my pregnancies). I have been reading "The Pleasures of God" by John Piper and am realizing more and more that I need to take pleasure in God. I do think that in doing so, I will become more focused on Him, and less focused on me. It's so hard to do...especially as I near the time when we lost Nathan. However, I know what God wants me to do and I really want to follow in obedience.
Today I am seeing the specialist to see what his opinion is as to what I do for this pregnancy. I don't entirely know what they will do, but I will be glad to hopefully hear our baby's heartbeat as well as know that everything is okay for now.
I know that God is great and that He is sovereign. After all, He chose me and made me His workmanship so that I would do the good works He's planned for me to bring Him honor and glory. I can't wait to see how He will use this pregnancy to bring honor and glory to Him!

UPDATE: Everything came out good...and I don't have to get a cerclage (my cervix measured great!) I will however be checked again next week and we will see how it is going then. I really liked the perinatologist and can't wait to see what else is in store.