Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Children, burden or blessing?

Today is a special day to me. I am remembering 2 years ago when I was contracting every 5 minutes and wondering if I had overdone it. I went to bed February 28th still contracting although the spacing had let up to every ten minutes. I woke on February 29th,2004 (yes it was leap year) hemorraging and believing that my precious daughter had entered eternity. To my great joy, when we arrived at the hospital, I heard her heartbeat on the monitor and shortly saw her squirming on the ultrasound. A few hours later, she was born, 10:35am, by emergency c-section. I did not get to see her for two more days. However, I was grateful that day that my baby was alive!!!

Here is Lillian, out of her "extra special" home, the isollette, and in clothes given to her by Great Grandma Donna.

Now, two years later we are rejoicing that she is healthy, beautiful, and happy as a two year old!!! I can't believe it. The first six and a half weeks were such a rollercoster of emotions, me recovering and struggling with high blood pressure and Lillian in the hospital fighting (quite strongly) for her life. And now we happily enjoy her and are excited to look forward to another child due this fall.

I must admit that this morning didn't start out well. I have struggled so much with negativity in my life. I really get angry when people complain about my children and refer to them as burdens. I can't even begin to count the times that I hear, "You can't do ..... because of your girls" or "If I had to deal with your kids, I would lose it" or other hurtful comments like that. After the initial anger passes I begin to evaluate why these comments are made. Now I know I am NOT a perfect parent and I am praying and beseeching the Lord for my children's salvation and for them to grow to be like Him inspite of my sinfulness. But I really don't believe that those comments are meant for my children alone, but for children in general. For that is the world's mindset. Children interfere with "our" desires and the things that "I" may want to do. The feminist mindset is such: "pursue your dreams and goals...why bother wasting your mind on such a mindless and dead-end job like mothering". That, I believe is one of the greatest reasons that children are seen as a hinderance...thanks to the feminist's mindset...which really is a sinful mindset begun in the Garden of Eden with Eve.
The only way that mindest can be eradicated is with the Word of God. We must ask the Lord to change our minds and transform them into His mind. We need to develope a Biblical mindset to counter the ever present and sometimes dominating views and ideas of the world. So, I want to mention some verses that have helped to "transform" my mind in the last few years.

"Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, and the fruit of the womb a
reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's
youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be
put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate." Psalm 127:3-5

The psalmist here is talking about the Lord building the home and watching the city. It is vain to do anything without Him being the one orchestrating and watching over it. And then, the psalmist goes on to talk about children being the heritage God gives one. Nothing can we take out of this world outside of the souls of men and our children are a great responsibility and blessing that we can take with us to eternity. I have always liked that it says "like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth" because haveing children at a young age is like haveing arrows for battle. How awesome of a picture is that?! Children can be our greatest assets in this thing called life. And that is what a man (and his wife)are blessed with.

"Blessed is everyone who fears the LORD, who walks in his ways! You shall eat
the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be
well with you. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house;
your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, thus
shall the man be blessed who fears the LORD." Psalm 128:1-4

This passage is talking about the ones who fear the Lord and follow Him. This is how they are blessed: with a fruitful wife (in those days children were also considered among the wealth of a man. Barrenness was often thought of as a curse in those days.) and children like olive shoots (referring to a good number...which there is no set "number"). That is how the man who fears the Lord will be blessed. Not only that, but the psalm concludes with a blessing for that person to see their children's children (vs. 6). So even seeing your Grand-children is a great blessing from the LORD.

I could continue with many more, but I am going to have to stop here. Children are a GREAT blessing from the Lord, and if children are viewed as an inconvienience and a burden and a hinderance to what "one" wants to do, then it is to that persons's shame. As for me, I want to daily have my mindset changed and instead of being irritated at my children for any "inconvienience" thay may cause me, rejoice in them as the blessing and heritage they are from the LORD.


Stacey said...

Hello... I don't know you very well, but I wanted to comment. I found your page from Dayna's xanga and I like to read your writings from time to time.
Although we seem to have a similar background and although my worship style and spiritual dogma is extremely conservative, you may find my ideas are somewhat radical:

You have said:
"The feminist mindset is such: "pursue your dreams and goals...why bother wasting your mind on such a mindless and dead-end job like mothering". That, I believe is one of the greatest reasons that children are seen as a hindrance...thanks to the feminist's mindset...which really is a sinful mindset begun in the Garden of Eden with Eve."

However, living under the Grace of Jesus Christ, women are no longer bound to the curse given to their lineage during the Fall. If Christ came to pay for all sin, certainly that means Eve, the "mother of all living" as well. Just a thought, although I'm not trying to argue your beliefs. I simply agree to respectfully disagree :)
Not all feminists believe that children are a burden. Unfortunately, the mainstream view of feminism is inaccurately portrayed through biased sources in media and hold little truth as it generalizes all forms of feminism, including pro-life feminists and even suffragists and those fighting for civil liberties.(Susan B. Anthony, Ida B. Wells) (see http://www.feministsforlife.org)
Many feminists simply want to stop the universal sexualization and violence against women... and that alone; I view as a completely legitimate reason to become an advocate for feminism. Perhaps many are wary of calling themselves feminists because it has become a black mark in society. Jehovah's Witnesses call themselves Christians...do we then drop Christianity? Just because semantics may argue complete unity with a generalized "way of life," does not mean we drop the entire issue.
If someone has directed ignorant comments in the name of feminism insinuating your lack of freedom within mothering, that person has insulted you... and I (as a feminist) do not condone such juvenile behavior. True, pure feminism is about the right for a woman to decide what she wants for her life without coercion into or out of mothering. You have chosen mothering as your admirable right and duty and no one should be able to tell you otherwise.
Besides, if mothering were a dead-end job, there would be no people on the earth! Your children are beautiful and your heart is pure... you have every right to remain happy! I believe a mother is one of God's greatest gifts... and we should do everything in our ability to protect her.

Watered Spring said...

Stacey, I want to thank you for commenting. I do agree that God's grace is great and that delivers us from the curse of the law, separation from God forever, and gives us hope of being changed in eternity into what God intended for us at creation.. That however doesn't negate the fact that we are still sinners and still are under the physical curses God set forth at the Garden. Men still are cursed by haveing to toil the ground for food and to work. And, I would like to add, that what God ruled in the garden, "...Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you..." (the idea of a woman seeking to upsurp the God given authority of a husband over his wife) is very prevelant especially in the feminist mindset. If you look at the history of feminism and the actions of it today, the focus is woman being liberated and free from "submission" to men. That, unfortunately, is a great false hood and like I said originated with Eve. Yet, God says to submit to our husbands ( and if we are not married to our fathers) as Christ Himself submitted to the Father. Not that there was an inequality in personhood, but there was a difference in roles. Jesus Christ's was to submit to His Father, and we as wives are to submit to our husbands in EVERYTHING. (I Peter 3/ I Timothy 2/ and Ephesians 5 we see the comparison of the church submitting ot Christ). Now, I don't agree with violance period- whether it be a woman being violant to a man (which is becomming more and more common) or a man being violant toward a woman. That is sin. But so is women seeking to elevate themselves in a place of authority over men or their husbands. A woman's God-given role is to be a helper, not a leader, and while there are times in Scripture where woman upsurped a man's authority,(many like to refer to Deborah) I tend to view it more of a lack of men taking the leadership they have been given by God.
Femnism, also, doesn't like the restraints of homemaking and child-rearing. That has been a foundational belief of feminists for years. A woman's independance from everyone and everything is foundational to the feminist mindest and thought. The Patriarchal construction of the home and society (authority of fathers and men) is also something feminists continually buck against, and yet that is a Biblical mindset.
All that said, I don't dislike women who are feminsts. I greatly dislike and am saddened by their thoughts and the way they are destroying the family and the home with them. Just because something may have something good in it (such as violance like you mentioned), doesn't make it right or even something to claim. The foundational thoughts of feminism and even the actions and lives of those claiming feminism today are something that must be considered when one claims to be part of a particular "group" of thought. And feminism is not something that holds to Biblical truth or thought and therefore the entire thoughts of feminism should be evaluated only by what God's Word says.

P.S. I also want you to know, that much of my opinions on feminsim occured while studying in a secular college and were formed over 5 years ago and is something I haven't done an incredible amount of study on in the last few years. I do, however, keep up with some thoughts from a conservative website found at www.ladiesagainstfeminsm.com.