I found this prayer yesterday while I was reading through one of my notebooks of things that I have saved to be reminded of. I was struck by the words and thought I would share it with you all (crazy...2 posts in a row!). I pray that you will be encouraged by the words even as I was.
My Prayer” ~ Author Unknown
Teach me, Lord, to keep sweet and gentle in all the events of life, in disappointments, in thoughtlessness of others, in the insincerity of those I trusted, in the unfaithfulness of those on whom I relied.
Help me to put myself aside, to think of the happiness of others, to hide my little pains and heartaches, so that I may be the only one to suffer from them.
Teach me to profit by the suffering that comes to me. Help me to use it that it may mellow me, not harden or embitter me, that it may make me broad in my forgiveness, kindly, sympathetic, and helpful.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
34 weeks 3 days and counting!!!!
I honestly cannot believe that I am over 34 weeks!!!! I must admit that I am getting really anxious to meet this little one. It feels like time is going slow, but at the same time, it is going really fast as well.
I feel like I am ready. Mostly. Andy starts school tomorrow and I am not looking forward to that, but what can one do. At least there is only one semester left!!! Then we are done! Yeah!!!!
Yesterday I meditated on Psalm 16. It is an incredible Psalm. As I anticipate our "new arriaval", I was really encouraged by some of these verses:
vs. 2~ "I say to the LORD,'You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you'"
vs. 5-6 ~ " The LORD is my chosen protion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance"
vs 8-11~ " I have set the LORD always before me; becasue he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to sheol, or let your holy one see corrupton. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence is fullness of joy; at your fight hand are pleasures forevermore."
These verses have been a great encouragement to me. I really want to have everything go smoothly for the rest of this pregnancy, but if it doesn't God alone is enough. He is the greatest good that I have, He holds my today and tomorrows, because I am His I live secure in Him, He is where there is fullness of joy and pleasures always... He is to be my delight and joy and where I take the most pleasure in. It is not easy, because there are some very precious things to me here on this earth (my husband and children), but He must come first. I really am working on making that my goal and focus. I need to make that my goal and focus.
So, while I wait for this child, my hope is that no matter what happens, He will be the sole desire and pleasure of my heart.
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Busy Preparations
This has been a good and busy week. Andy is still working days and will be doing so again next week. It's kindof funny how you long for one thing and when you get it, it's not as nice as you thought it would be. That's how we feel about days. Maybe when he's done with school, our perspective on it will change a bit, but for now with all my dr's appointments and other various tasks, it's challenging to have him on days. I am so thankful for all the help others have given from watching the kids to letting me use a vehicle so I can get all my errands done.
I was able to have a lady that I have spoken to only a few times over this week and I really enjoyed my conversations with her. She has 5 children and just had their first girl. It was really nice to chat with her and I am hoping to get to know her better as I know she will be a great encouragement.
I think I may be losing some weight, or atleast some fat, on my new "diet". I haven't followed it completely and my levels have been well below where they need to be so that is encourageing. Ethan is growing and I can feel him moving often although the movements are more strong and definitive and really rarely the 'flutter' of light movement. I must say I am getting very anxious to meet this little guy and yet praying that he continues to stay put. We are a week past when Lillian was born, so I feel like every week is an added blessing. I see the Dr. on Monday and am excited to see what their thoughts are concerning the rest of this pregnancy. I know that they will be watching me weekly but as far as the rest of their plans for me, I don't know. I have begun to pray more for a normal delivery and would love to do a VBAC. Please pray for me that I will be accepting of whatever delivery God has planned for me and that if it's a c-section or VBAC that I will be able to be a shining testimony of His glory.
I have begun reading through Psalms. I like to meditate on them as delivery gets closer. They are packed full with God-ward thoughts and I desire to have those thoughts permiate my mind. I meditated Psalm 2 one day this week, and I think that it is so amazing to think that God is in control of the nations!!!! His power and plan will prevail for the nations of the world. That had me think of how amazing and awesome it is that not only does God care for the nations, but He cares for me as His child. His plans for me will prevail no matter what!!! What a promise from the Lord....I must admit....I can't wait to see what His plans for me are.
I have also begun to prepare Ariana's school for 3 months. I want to be ready so we can begin shortly after Ethan is born. I can't believe that I am doing school with my oldest. Granted it is only pre-school, but I can't believe how big she is getting. As I prepare for this, I have been praying that not only will she learn skills to aid in her life, but that she will trust Christ as her Saviour and be a shining example of a godly woman to the world around her. It is a daunting task when I think about it, but I pray that it won't be me building her life, but that it will be the Lord through me. Pray that things fall together quickly for school so that we won't be bogged down with school stuff but will be able to enjoy Ethan as well.
How grateful I am that God is enthroned above. It makes the uncertainty of future things not so scary when I remember who is in control!!!! I hope that I never forget that.
I was able to have a lady that I have spoken to only a few times over this week and I really enjoyed my conversations with her. She has 5 children and just had their first girl. It was really nice to chat with her and I am hoping to get to know her better as I know she will be a great encouragement.
I think I may be losing some weight, or atleast some fat, on my new "diet". I haven't followed it completely and my levels have been well below where they need to be so that is encourageing. Ethan is growing and I can feel him moving often although the movements are more strong and definitive and really rarely the 'flutter' of light movement. I must say I am getting very anxious to meet this little guy and yet praying that he continues to stay put. We are a week past when Lillian was born, so I feel like every week is an added blessing. I see the Dr. on Monday and am excited to see what their thoughts are concerning the rest of this pregnancy. I know that they will be watching me weekly but as far as the rest of their plans for me, I don't know. I have begun to pray more for a normal delivery and would love to do a VBAC. Please pray for me that I will be accepting of whatever delivery God has planned for me and that if it's a c-section or VBAC that I will be able to be a shining testimony of His glory.
I have begun reading through Psalms. I like to meditate on them as delivery gets closer. They are packed full with God-ward thoughts and I desire to have those thoughts permiate my mind. I meditated Psalm 2 one day this week, and I think that it is so amazing to think that God is in control of the nations!!!! His power and plan will prevail for the nations of the world. That had me think of how amazing and awesome it is that not only does God care for the nations, but He cares for me as His child. His plans for me will prevail no matter what!!! What a promise from the Lord....I must admit....I can't wait to see what His plans for me are.
I have also begun to prepare Ariana's school for 3 months. I want to be ready so we can begin shortly after Ethan is born. I can't believe that I am doing school with my oldest. Granted it is only pre-school, but I can't believe how big she is getting. As I prepare for this, I have been praying that not only will she learn skills to aid in her life, but that she will trust Christ as her Saviour and be a shining example of a godly woman to the world around her. It is a daunting task when I think about it, but I pray that it won't be me building her life, but that it will be the Lord through me. Pray that things fall together quickly for school so that we won't be bogged down with school stuff but will be able to enjoy Ethan as well.
How grateful I am that God is enthroned above. It makes the uncertainty of future things not so scary when I remember who is in control!!!! I hope that I never forget that.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Philippians 4 Reminder
"Rejoice in the Lord always, again I will say, Rejoice. Let you reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." ~ Philippians 4: 4-8
Yesterday, I was encouraged by my mother-in-law to read Philippians 4. She had been reading it that morning and was blessed by the Lord in some amazing ways (both spiritually and physcially). As I meditated on this chapter, again these particualr verses stuck in my mind. Why, you may ask? Because controlling my thought life, particularly the area of worrying, is a never- ending task it seems in my life. My dear husband is always reminding me of these verses and sadly I don't always appreciate the reproof. However, we are commanded in the Word of God to Rejoice in the Lord. Not just when our lives are going great and according to *our* plans, but also when things arn't happening in the way we see fit. God has given to us a means to achieving peace when we feel like there can be none....prayer. We are to not be anxious but instead bring our prayers and petitions to God who alone can give us the peace that passes all understanding. As we surrender to Him, He gives us the peace and guards our hearts and our minds. As we surrender this control, we too need to yeild the determination to take our thoughts captive and focus on what is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, praiseworthy and excellent. And who would give us the ability to do that? Again, our great and awesome God. Everytime I think that *I* have to do something (now I am not discounting our responsibility), I realize that He is the one who provides the grace to do what pleases Him. I cannot do it by willing it myself...He alone can give the strength.
I am seeing that I must focus on these thoughts alot in the days and weeks ahead. I am nearing the point where I delivered our precious Lillian. While my blood pressure is still behaving itself as of now, my body still is not responding to this pregnancy in a completely positive way...I do have gestational diabetes. So, I am meeting with a dietician tomorrow and will also meet with a diabetic counselor (or something like that) sometime as well so that I can get this blood sugar thing under control. My initial reaction is " if it's not one thing, it's another". Sometimes, in my mind, I am questioning why? Why do I continually have problem after problem in my pregnancies? Why can't things just go normally and not add more stress to my life? But, then agian I am reminded that I need to not worry but turst in the fact that all things are working out in my life for my good and ultimately for the Glory of the Lord. I am realizing that I must remember that above all things. He is doing it for His glory...and I am amazed that He would even chose me for that honor. So while in my flesh I am not thrilled about this latest complication, I am most grateful for His soverignty and ask that you would pray with me that God will be glorified throughout the remainder of this pregnancy.
Yesterday, I was encouraged by my mother-in-law to read Philippians 4. She had been reading it that morning and was blessed by the Lord in some amazing ways (both spiritually and physcially). As I meditated on this chapter, again these particualr verses stuck in my mind. Why, you may ask? Because controlling my thought life, particularly the area of worrying, is a never- ending task it seems in my life. My dear husband is always reminding me of these verses and sadly I don't always appreciate the reproof. However, we are commanded in the Word of God to Rejoice in the Lord. Not just when our lives are going great and according to *our* plans, but also when things arn't happening in the way we see fit. God has given to us a means to achieving peace when we feel like there can be none....prayer. We are to not be anxious but instead bring our prayers and petitions to God who alone can give us the peace that passes all understanding. As we surrender to Him, He gives us the peace and guards our hearts and our minds. As we surrender this control, we too need to yeild the determination to take our thoughts captive and focus on what is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, praiseworthy and excellent. And who would give us the ability to do that? Again, our great and awesome God. Everytime I think that *I* have to do something (now I am not discounting our responsibility), I realize that He is the one who provides the grace to do what pleases Him. I cannot do it by willing it myself...He alone can give the strength.
I am seeing that I must focus on these thoughts alot in the days and weeks ahead. I am nearing the point where I delivered our precious Lillian. While my blood pressure is still behaving itself as of now, my body still is not responding to this pregnancy in a completely positive way...I do have gestational diabetes. So, I am meeting with a dietician tomorrow and will also meet with a diabetic counselor (or something like that) sometime as well so that I can get this blood sugar thing under control. My initial reaction is " if it's not one thing, it's another". Sometimes, in my mind, I am questioning why? Why do I continually have problem after problem in my pregnancies? Why can't things just go normally and not add more stress to my life? But, then agian I am reminded that I need to not worry but turst in the fact that all things are working out in my life for my good and ultimately for the Glory of the Lord. I am realizing that I must remember that above all things. He is doing it for His glory...and I am amazed that He would even chose me for that honor. So while in my flesh I am not thrilled about this latest complication, I am most grateful for His soverignty and ask that you would pray with me that God will be glorified throughout the remainder of this pregnancy.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
An Ever Interesting Life
Well, I am alone this weekend...well not really, Lillybug is home with me. Andy took Ana to my cousins wedding and as Ana is the flowergirl, I really feel like I'm missing out on some fun! However, I am glad we chose to stay home especially as I carry Ethan. I will look forward to seeing pictures and am rejoicing with them in their marriage.
It's been a busy and relaxing week with Andy off. We have been able to rest some and we even went out on a date!!! I don't remember the last time we went out alone. It was so nice to know that the girls were being cared for by someone we trusted and we were able to really enjoy our time out even though we both were exhausted. I found a plaque for Ethan's room that says "Thank Heaven for Little Boys" and it matches his nursry bedding perfectly. I have found some cute clothes for him and am beginning to feel like things are coming together for his upcoming birth. I still need to finish getting essentials like diapers and such, but other than that, I am hoping we will be ready within the next month.
I can't believe that I am 28 weeks!!! It is sooo exciting. It's also hard to believe Lillybug was born 2 weeks from now! That is truly unbelievable. So far nothing has been unusual on the Preeclampsia front which I am very grateful for. However, I would like to ask for your prayers as I recieved a high result on my 1 hour glucose test, so I am going to have to do the 3 hour glucose test. I really don't want to have that test come back bad, so I would appreciate any prayers on that.
Andy will be working days the next few weeks and that is going to add quite a bit of fun to our lives. It will be strange having him gone during the day, but at home in the evenings. It definitely will make any pregnancy appointments interesting as I try to find time to get the things done I need to get done. But having him home in the evenings will sure help as I am soooo tired alot these days.
God's soverignty has really been on my mind alot these days. I am so glad that God is in control. It is sooo hard for me to remember that sometimes, but it sure is a comfort to know that God is always on His Throne.
It's been a busy and relaxing week with Andy off. We have been able to rest some and we even went out on a date!!! I don't remember the last time we went out alone. It was so nice to know that the girls were being cared for by someone we trusted and we were able to really enjoy our time out even though we both were exhausted. I found a plaque for Ethan's room that says "Thank Heaven for Little Boys" and it matches his nursry bedding perfectly. I have found some cute clothes for him and am beginning to feel like things are coming together for his upcoming birth. I still need to finish getting essentials like diapers and such, but other than that, I am hoping we will be ready within the next month.
I can't believe that I am 28 weeks!!! It is sooo exciting. It's also hard to believe Lillybug was born 2 weeks from now! That is truly unbelievable. So far nothing has been unusual on the Preeclampsia front which I am very grateful for. However, I would like to ask for your prayers as I recieved a high result on my 1 hour glucose test, so I am going to have to do the 3 hour glucose test. I really don't want to have that test come back bad, so I would appreciate any prayers on that.
Andy will be working days the next few weeks and that is going to add quite a bit of fun to our lives. It will be strange having him gone during the day, but at home in the evenings. It definitely will make any pregnancy appointments interesting as I try to find time to get the things done I need to get done. But having him home in the evenings will sure help as I am soooo tired alot these days.
God's soverignty has really been on my mind alot these days. I am so glad that God is in control. It is sooo hard for me to remember that sometimes, but it sure is a comfort to know that God is always on His Throne.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Busy Days
This week has been fun and busy!!! We had company from Friday last week until Wed. this week. My sister in law had her baby a few weeks ago and her family was in town and stayed with us. It was very fun to have them here. The girls really enjoyed it! Monday, we began our 5 day club and that went pretty good...except today we had no kids...but mine. Ariana has really enjoyed it.
I have had 3 appointments this week. The first was just a normal visit...Ethan is doing great and so am I. My cervix is still closed (which is what we want) and he is very low!!! I had an internal exam done and the doctor could feel him down low. I am getting alot bigger and more uncomfortable...but I am sooo grateful to be carrying this child. I went in for another appointment due to some unusual swelling in my leg and today I had an ultrasound done to make sure I had no clots. Everything looked fine...I just have to take it easy and when I'm up alot, wear my lovely support hose. In this heat...I am not too anxous about that.
Andy will be on vacation next week and we are ready for some family time! I hope it is restful for him.
God has been so gracious to us. We have had an enjoyable week and are excited for our weekend (my sister is flying into an airport near us and I will be able to see her) and looking forward to good time with family.
I have had 3 appointments this week. The first was just a normal visit...Ethan is doing great and so am I. My cervix is still closed (which is what we want) and he is very low!!! I had an internal exam done and the doctor could feel him down low. I am getting alot bigger and more uncomfortable...but I am sooo grateful to be carrying this child. I went in for another appointment due to some unusual swelling in my leg and today I had an ultrasound done to make sure I had no clots. Everything looked fine...I just have to take it easy and when I'm up alot, wear my lovely support hose. In this heat...I am not too anxous about that.
Andy will be on vacation next week and we are ready for some family time! I hope it is restful for him.
God has been so gracious to us. We have had an enjoyable week and are excited for our weekend (my sister is flying into an airport near us and I will be able to see her) and looking forward to good time with family.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
God's Ways
I just finished watching one of my favorite movies with my girls. It is "Jospeh, King of Dreams" a Dreamworks picture. I have enjoyed the movie for awhile now, but once again it has reminded me of God's great soverignty in our lives. So many times it is easy to "buck" whatever circumstances are happening in our lives or to resist the things that God wants to do in our lives. We forget that He has a plan and a purpose that is for His honor and Glory. Look at the life of Joseph. God used his trials and hardships to save Israel. Now, I don't think that my life is necessarily going to save a group of people, however, I do know that God has a great plan for my life that will fulfill His purpose for me and the ultimate plan He has. I need to remember that no matter what happens, God knows best and His way is the way that I want to direct my life.
I am about 26 weeks pregnant and have been really fretting over the next while. I like to "control" things, and I have been determining to make sure that I am prepared for whatever circumstances come up in this pregnancy - whether another preemie or a full term baby. I don't like surprises and I don't like getting thrown into unplanned circumstances. So, the movie tonight was a great reminder to me to let God have His way in my life and to not fret over the future....He already knows it and is working on creating a beautiful masterpiece in my life...even in this pregnancy. So, while I must DAILY learn to surrender each moment...and not get caught up in the "if this happens" mentality... I must learn to anticipate the Great and Awesome things that He is going to do. I am so grateful fot the time I've already had with Ethan and I am so excited to deliver him and to see what God is going to do in him even what He will teach me through Ethan's life.
"This God- his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him. 'For who is God, but the LORD? And who is a rock, except our God? This God is my strong refuge and he has made my way blamesless.'" (II Samuel 22:31-33)
I am about 26 weeks pregnant and have been really fretting over the next while. I like to "control" things, and I have been determining to make sure that I am prepared for whatever circumstances come up in this pregnancy - whether another preemie or a full term baby. I don't like surprises and I don't like getting thrown into unplanned circumstances. So, the movie tonight was a great reminder to me to let God have His way in my life and to not fret over the future....He already knows it and is working on creating a beautiful masterpiece in my life...even in this pregnancy. So, while I must DAILY learn to surrender each moment...and not get caught up in the "if this happens" mentality... I must learn to anticipate the Great and Awesome things that He is going to do. I am so grateful fot the time I've already had with Ethan and I am so excited to deliver him and to see what God is going to do in him even what He will teach me through Ethan's life.
"This God- his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him. 'For who is God, but the LORD? And who is a rock, except our God? This God is my strong refuge and he has made my way blamesless.'" (II Samuel 22:31-33)
Friday, June 02, 2006
Latest News
Wow! I can't believe that it is June 2nd! Almost a whole month since my last entry. Things have been busy here. We finished Andy's school in May, I went to MI for a week to spend time with my family before I will no longer travel ( I have been waiting for a safe time to go...even though I feel like no time is really 'safe'), and now I am anxiously waiting for my sister in law to go into labor and have their baby girl!!! I love babies!
I feel like I have really been going trough some challenging times. I am still hashing over some things, but am feeling more direction through Scripture as to my thinking. I know that God is working out some things in my life, and I can't wait to see what He does in my life. He is such a great teacher and I pray that I will be a diligent learner.
Tomorrow I will be 23 weeks pregnant! I cannot believe it. After 2 losses, I didn't know if the Lord would allow me to have another, but here we are at 23 weeks and I admit I am really excited. I started going through baby boy clothes (how strange is that!) and I am looking forward to starting to work on our nursery. Because of my lovely Obstetric history, I want to be ready by the beginning of July just incase I see Bedrest or Preterm Birth. I really can't believe that we had Lillian 7 weeks from now! I am feeling like I am getting really big...and I've gained more weight than I would have liked at this point. Ethan is moving constantly and I love the feeling of "life". I really think that pregnancy is such an awesome time. Granted...it's never easy for me, but I love the thought of our child growing and moving in me. I am reminded DAILY that God has entrusted these children to Andy and my's care and We need to seek His wisdom to raise them for His honor and glory. I love my girls and I can't wait to meet our son. Please continue to pray as I have an ultrasound on Wednesday of next week and then I start a new test on Friday. I will take this test every 2 weeks until 28 weeks. After that....I will start a new phase. So far, the Lord has been very gracious and we have had a problem-free pregnancy thus far.
Hopefully I won't wait so long to update or write next time.
Soli Deo Gloria!!!!!!
I feel like I have really been going trough some challenging times. I am still hashing over some things, but am feeling more direction through Scripture as to my thinking. I know that God is working out some things in my life, and I can't wait to see what He does in my life. He is such a great teacher and I pray that I will be a diligent learner.
Tomorrow I will be 23 weeks pregnant! I cannot believe it. After 2 losses, I didn't know if the Lord would allow me to have another, but here we are at 23 weeks and I admit I am really excited. I started going through baby boy clothes (how strange is that!) and I am looking forward to starting to work on our nursery. Because of my lovely Obstetric history, I want to be ready by the beginning of July just incase I see Bedrest or Preterm Birth. I really can't believe that we had Lillian 7 weeks from now! I am feeling like I am getting really big...and I've gained more weight than I would have liked at this point. Ethan is moving constantly and I love the feeling of "life". I really think that pregnancy is such an awesome time. Granted...it's never easy for me, but I love the thought of our child growing and moving in me. I am reminded DAILY that God has entrusted these children to Andy and my's care and We need to seek His wisdom to raise them for His honor and glory. I love my girls and I can't wait to meet our son. Please continue to pray as I have an ultrasound on Wednesday of next week and then I start a new test on Friday. I will take this test every 2 weeks until 28 weeks. After that....I will start a new phase. So far, the Lord has been very gracious and we have had a problem-free pregnancy thus far.
Hopefully I won't wait so long to update or write next time.
Soli Deo Gloria!!!!!!
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
TRUST
Things have been very interesting lately. God has been working on so many areas in my life is seems. There have been topics I've been wrestling with and others that have encouraged my heart and, I pray, God is using them to make me more like Himself. I really do want to Glorify Him and become more like Him. I want my thinking to be less worldly and more and more gain the mind of Christ. Yet, worldly thinking is constantly being engrained in my head. We all get it through various facets of our everyday life ~ home, work (if we work outside the home), church,....everywhere. I am convinced that only Scripture, through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, can truly aid us in obtaining the mind of Christ. God can use other ways such as literature and people, but all we are challenged with must be sifted through the Word of God.
Our minds NEED to be renewed and changed if we wnat them to be Christ-like and if we want our lives to honor and glorify the LORD. I am rminded of this as I've meditated on Romans 12:1-2~
"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable, and perfect."
I heard a neat missionary speak this Sunday, and she used Psalm 37:3-7a to teach us how we can TRUST God. Each letter was one of the 5 commands in this passage. The accrostic was the follwoing and follow a specific order:
T=Take the gift of Salvation, R= Rejoice in the LORD, U= Unleash your life to God, S= Sacrificially submit to God and Serve others, T= Total Responsibility is God's
I really liked this because we are called to obey what God says (present ourselves to Him, know Him and desire Him, submit to Him, love others, ...) and what happens is TOTALLY in His hands. He is Soverignly in control over ALL.
This is some of what I am learning. This is what He wants me to learn and apply to my life.
Baby News:
I am currently 19 weeks 4 days pregnant and all is seemingly well. Iam feeling Ethan's movements more each day and Andy and Arianaboth have felt him also. I must say this pregnancy is more real to menow and I am starting to get excited about the prospect of a new babyin our home. Please continue to pray that all will go well. I have anotherultrasound today and will continue to have weekly u/s until I am 24weeks. Horray!!! We are about half way there!!!!!
Our minds NEED to be renewed and changed if we wnat them to be Christ-like and if we want our lives to honor and glorify the LORD. I am rminded of this as I've meditated on Romans 12:1-2~
"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable, and perfect."
I heard a neat missionary speak this Sunday, and she used Psalm 37:3-7a to teach us how we can TRUST God. Each letter was one of the 5 commands in this passage. The accrostic was the follwoing and follow a specific order:
T=Take the gift of Salvation, R= Rejoice in the LORD, U= Unleash your life to God, S= Sacrificially submit to God and Serve others, T= Total Responsibility is God's
I really liked this because we are called to obey what God says (present ourselves to Him, know Him and desire Him, submit to Him, love others, ...) and what happens is TOTALLY in His hands. He is Soverignly in control over ALL.
This is some of what I am learning. This is what He wants me to learn and apply to my life.
Baby News:
I am currently 19 weeks 4 days pregnant and all is seemingly well. Iam feeling Ethan's movements more each day and Andy and Arianaboth have felt him also. I must say this pregnancy is more real to menow and I am starting to get excited about the prospect of a new babyin our home. Please continue to pray that all will go well. I have anotherultrasound today and will continue to have weekly u/s until I am 24weeks. Horray!!! We are about half way there!!!!!
Friday, April 21, 2006
SURPRISE!!!!!
Yesterday, I had another cervical ultrasound scan. It went well...my cervix is still good!!! BUT, the best surprise was when they decided to take a peak at our baby!!! It was so fun to watch our baby move and to see a good strong heartbeat!!! It was amazing!!! And even more amazing was that they let us find out what our baby is. We weren't planning on finding out for 2 more weeks, but we'll take the news whenever we can get it. And we found out that we are expecting a baby BOY!!!! We are sooo excited. The name we have chosen (and have had chosen since Ariana) is Ethan Andrew (sorry Kyle...maybe we'll think about that name for our next boy!). So, as you think and pray for me and this pregnancy (which we pray will continue to go in a positive direction), please pray for our son, Ethan, to grow healthy and strong!
"...My heart exults in the LORD; my strength is exalted in the LORD!!!!!" (I Sam. 2:1 ~ a prayer of exultation that I sing even as Hannah did!)
"...My heart exults in the LORD; my strength is exalted in the LORD!!!!!" (I Sam. 2:1 ~ a prayer of exultation that I sing even as Hannah did!)
Thursday, April 13, 2006
If I thought waiting was hard....
...I was mistaken, because modified bedrest is harder.
Okay...so I thought others were easier to listen to too...but that was wrong too...Dr's can't give assurance.
Again I am sitting here, praying and waiting to see what the LORD is going to do. My visit was okay. The baby looked good (what we saw...mainly the heartbeat beating at 167 bpm) and my cervix went from alittle over 4cm to 3.5cm. Not something extrordinarily worrisome...but not what I was wanting to hear. On top of that I found out I have a low- lying placenta. Also something not extrodinarily worrisome, just another new experience I feel I could do without. Then as I shared some concerns I had with pressure on my cervix, I was told that I will need to get help with my children and housework during the day. I am to take it easy and get some help (for all of you who know me...help is something I need alright!!! ) So, another lesson to be learned....
Humility. I must take this moment to thank my mother for my birthday gift, "Humily" by C.J. Mahany. I believe that I will not want to wait to finish "The Pleasures of God" before I begin that, because I need a BIG dose of it now. I am one who loves to do things for others, and I especially like to do things myself. However, I am going to need to rely on the blessings of others for the remainder of this pregnancy, however long it may be. I am not particularly keen on that...at least not in a semi-permanant way...because I don't have a problem talking others into letting me help them, but I don't always have enough humility to allow others to help me. So, I ask for prayer for humility. I so feel like others have blessed us beyond what we need, and now in my time of need, I need to accept the help of others. As difficult as it may be, I need to humble myself, let go of my pride, and allow God to work....through others.
He's already blessing. A godly woman at our church heard about my appointment and has offered to get women of the church to come and do major cleaning 1 day a week! That truly is a blessing! I also have dear friends who are offering their time and assistance even though their lives are also busy.
Jesus Christ gave us the greatest example of humility. I can't imagine the putting aside of His rights as God to pay the penalty for my sin. I am humbled, amazed, and ashamed. I need to follow my Saviour and put aside my right to do My home, and instead obey my doctor and do as he suggests, for he is the one the LORD brought to watch over me and my babe, though God ultimately holds this child. Lord, may I follow you in your example. Humbling myself and committing myself to the Father even as you did. Create in me a heart that obeys and that submits to the work you want to do in my life as well as the lives of others. I love you.
Okay...so I thought others were easier to listen to too...but that was wrong too...Dr's can't give assurance.
Again I am sitting here, praying and waiting to see what the LORD is going to do. My visit was okay. The baby looked good (what we saw...mainly the heartbeat beating at 167 bpm) and my cervix went from alittle over 4cm to 3.5cm. Not something extrordinarily worrisome...but not what I was wanting to hear. On top of that I found out I have a low- lying placenta. Also something not extrodinarily worrisome, just another new experience I feel I could do without. Then as I shared some concerns I had with pressure on my cervix, I was told that I will need to get help with my children and housework during the day. I am to take it easy and get some help (for all of you who know me...help is something I need alright!!! ) So, another lesson to be learned....
Humility. I must take this moment to thank my mother for my birthday gift, "Humily" by C.J. Mahany. I believe that I will not want to wait to finish "The Pleasures of God" before I begin that, because I need a BIG dose of it now. I am one who loves to do things for others, and I especially like to do things myself. However, I am going to need to rely on the blessings of others for the remainder of this pregnancy, however long it may be. I am not particularly keen on that...at least not in a semi-permanant way...because I don't have a problem talking others into letting me help them, but I don't always have enough humility to allow others to help me. So, I ask for prayer for humility. I so feel like others have blessed us beyond what we need, and now in my time of need, I need to accept the help of others. As difficult as it may be, I need to humble myself, let go of my pride, and allow God to work....through others.
He's already blessing. A godly woman at our church heard about my appointment and has offered to get women of the church to come and do major cleaning 1 day a week! That truly is a blessing! I also have dear friends who are offering their time and assistance even though their lives are also busy.
Jesus Christ gave us the greatest example of humility. I can't imagine the putting aside of His rights as God to pay the penalty for my sin. I am humbled, amazed, and ashamed. I need to follow my Saviour and put aside my right to do My home, and instead obey my doctor and do as he suggests, for he is the one the LORD brought to watch over me and my babe, though God ultimately holds this child. Lord, may I follow you in your example. Humbling myself and committing myself to the Father even as you did. Create in me a heart that obeys and that submits to the work you want to do in my life as well as the lives of others. I love you.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Learning to Wait
I used to laugh at myself when I would talk about how anxious I was for the next exciting thing to happen. First it was graduating High School. Then it was marrying my best friend, Andy. Then it was anxiously waiting for our first child, a daughter, to arrive. Since then, I feel like I do a myriad of waiting everysingle day. And with all that practice (you think I would be getting good), I am still disliking waiting!!!!
Tomorrow, I meet with the specialist again. Last week was kindof fun...(minus the cervical ultrasound) we got to see our baby (for the 4th time this pregnancy) as well as recieve the assurance that everything is going good for now. I was really relieved and less stressed about this pregnancy...until the start of this week. I got nervous Monday and have still been waiting to see how things are going. You see, we lost our son, Nathan Joel, last September around this time in the pregnancy. I am so anxious to get further along (like another 10 weeks under my belt), and yet I thought, "If I got relived about what this doctor said, why can I not be relieved when I read the truths for me in God's Word?"
I've determined because it's easier to rely on man, and once you get some word, it's easy to forget and cease to rely on the Heavely Father. However, God wants us to find pleasure and delight in Him. He wants our source of joy and strength to come fom trusting HIM.
So, now what do I do? For now, I know I need to bathe myself in the Word and memorize verses that will help me to focus on Him. I also need to continue to wait and really seek to understand what Waiting on the Lord really means...and then apply it to my life.
I certainly covet prayers on behalf of this little baby growing in me....and I also covet prayes that I will become the person God desires me to be and that I will trust in Him no matter what comes my way.
"The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?...One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple. For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock...Hear, O LORD, when I cry aloud; be gracious to me and answer me! You have siad, "Seek my face." My heart sayd to you, ' Your face, LORD, do I seek'. Hide not your face from me....I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!" ~Psalm 27: 1,4-5, a7-9a, 13-14
Tomorrow, I meet with the specialist again. Last week was kindof fun...(minus the cervical ultrasound) we got to see our baby (for the 4th time this pregnancy) as well as recieve the assurance that everything is going good for now. I was really relieved and less stressed about this pregnancy...until the start of this week. I got nervous Monday and have still been waiting to see how things are going. You see, we lost our son, Nathan Joel, last September around this time in the pregnancy. I am so anxious to get further along (like another 10 weeks under my belt), and yet I thought, "If I got relived about what this doctor said, why can I not be relieved when I read the truths for me in God's Word?"
I've determined because it's easier to rely on man, and once you get some word, it's easy to forget and cease to rely on the Heavely Father. However, God wants us to find pleasure and delight in Him. He wants our source of joy and strength to come fom trusting HIM.
So, now what do I do? For now, I know I need to bathe myself in the Word and memorize verses that will help me to focus on Him. I also need to continue to wait and really seek to understand what Waiting on the Lord really means...and then apply it to my life.
I certainly covet prayers on behalf of this little baby growing in me....and I also covet prayes that I will become the person God desires me to be and that I will trust in Him no matter what comes my way.
"The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?...One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple. For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock...Hear, O LORD, when I cry aloud; be gracious to me and answer me! You have siad, "Seek my face." My heart sayd to you, ' Your face, LORD, do I seek'. Hide not your face from me....I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!" ~Psalm 27: 1,4-5, a7-9a, 13-14
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Seeing the Specialist today
I have really been working on trying to stay calm...not always working, but I am learning to Trust the Lord in new ways (or maybe they are old ways since the Lord is always teaching me trust in my pregnancies). I have been reading "The Pleasures of God" by John Piper and am realizing more and more that I need to take pleasure in God. I do think that in doing so, I will become more focused on Him, and less focused on me. It's so hard to do...especially as I near the time when we lost Nathan. However, I know what God wants me to do and I really want to follow in obedience.
Today I am seeing the specialist to see what his opinion is as to what I do for this pregnancy. I don't entirely know what they will do, but I will be glad to hopefully hear our baby's heartbeat as well as know that everything is okay for now.
I know that God is great and that He is sovereign. After all, He chose me and made me His workmanship so that I would do the good works He's planned for me to bring Him honor and glory. I can't wait to see how He will use this pregnancy to bring honor and glory to Him!
UPDATE: Everything came out good...and I don't have to get a cerclage (my cervix measured great!) I will however be checked again next week and we will see how it is going then. I really liked the perinatologist and can't wait to see what else is in store.
Today I am seeing the specialist to see what his opinion is as to what I do for this pregnancy. I don't entirely know what they will do, but I will be glad to hopefully hear our baby's heartbeat as well as know that everything is okay for now.
I know that God is great and that He is sovereign. After all, He chose me and made me His workmanship so that I would do the good works He's planned for me to bring Him honor and glory. I can't wait to see how He will use this pregnancy to bring honor and glory to Him!
UPDATE: Everything came out good...and I don't have to get a cerclage (my cervix measured great!) I will however be checked again next week and we will see how it is going then. I really liked the perinatologist and can't wait to see what else is in store.
Monday, March 20, 2006
The End of Me
Yesterday at church was great!!!! I loved both morning and eveing service. I love being challenged in the Word and in my thinking. Now, mind you, I am a very opinionated person (ask anyone who's had a discussion with me) and I also tend to be very critical sometimes (which is something I am seeking to change) but I was so greatly reminded yesterday that there needs to always be an end of me. We watched a movie of John Piper speaking at a conference (my gracious Pastor lent me the dvd and I watched the rest of the speakers today) and I was soooo encouraged and reminded of things the Lord spoke and is teaching me on. One thing that has been coursing through my brain is that God's concern is for His glory. That can seem like such a prideful thing, and yet there are so many Scriptures talking about God's passion for Himself which is exactly what we need to have...a passion for HIM!!! He is our example. He is our goal. He is our prize. He is our all. That is what is important. I also loved the focus of the definition of His holiness as being "His infinate value as the absolute perfect moral person (unique and incomprable) He is" (that is a very poor paraphrase of what Pastor Piper said...forgive me..keeping up with note-taking was a challenge as usual). God is the one to value....when Christ died it was not just for our sake (so we could be reconciled with God) but the fact that "He valued the perfection of Himself, His Son, and His Spirit" (as Pastor Piper stated) As John Piper said and I loved this quote God demonstrates love to us when "He sustains and exalts His holiness in His Son for my everlasting enjoyment." That is soooooo awesome...I really long to enjoy God more. I really desire to end the focus on myself and to enjoy Him!!!! But what a challenge it is. I really do think that our relationships would change dramatically. I think our relationship with God would be different, that we would view others in light of the mercy, grace, and love that He has bestowed on us. I think it would make us more loving and forebearing.
Then, in the evening service, we talked about I John (which I am really enjoying the study). The thing that stuck out to me then was that I can have confidence in my salvation because I have that hope...I can have confidence in Christ's return because I have Christ as my righteousness. Not only that, but it is Him at work in me that causes me to obey...without His Spirit, I am nothing...once again an end to me.
So, today as I've taken it easy and have thought alot about this pregnancy and the fears and concerns that I have, I have thought that I need to have an end of me. If I end me, then the struggles and fears of life will pale in comparison to the joys and enjoyment of God.
Lord, please help me to grow in my enjoyment of you that I may become Holy as you are Holy and that me and my desires would die and you would reign in me...in every area. May the view I need to have of you draw me to love you more and may I respond in like to those around me because of what You have shown me, one who is sooooo unworthy. I love you Lord.
Then, in the evening service, we talked about I John (which I am really enjoying the study). The thing that stuck out to me then was that I can have confidence in my salvation because I have that hope...I can have confidence in Christ's return because I have Christ as my righteousness. Not only that, but it is Him at work in me that causes me to obey...without His Spirit, I am nothing...once again an end to me.
So, today as I've taken it easy and have thought alot about this pregnancy and the fears and concerns that I have, I have thought that I need to have an end of me. If I end me, then the struggles and fears of life will pale in comparison to the joys and enjoyment of God.
Lord, please help me to grow in my enjoyment of you that I may become Holy as you are Holy and that me and my desires would die and you would reign in me...in every area. May the view I need to have of you draw me to love you more and may I respond in like to those around me because of what You have shown me, one who is sooooo unworthy. I love you Lord.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Doctor's Visit Yesterday
It was a crazzzzzy day yesterday. I was thouroughly exhausted by the day's end. We went to the doctor and it was a long visit. I was there from 2:15pm -3:45pm. That makes for a really long appointment. However, the doctor listened to all my concerns and responded very well (I think) and he even did an ultrasound and we were able to see our baby moving and haveing a great heartbeat of 166!!!! The baby is measuring great and everything looked good. The doctor did say that my cervix felt like it was short, so I am having an appointment with a perinatologist soon because they want to check my cervix for cervical incompetance and if that is determined I may have a cerclage done between 13 and 14 weeks (which would be here in the near future). So, I am waiting for them to call me with a time for that and then I will head on to that stage. I am kindof nervous, especially since it was between this visit and the next that we lost Nathan in September, but they are going to keep a close eye on me and if I feel strange at all I am to call and be seen. I am glad for the OB's that I have and Lord willing things will go well and we will have a baby here in the fall!!!! I truly covet all the prayers that are sent up for me as I am nervous about all this testing, but I know that God is in control and that it will go according to His will for me and this precious life that I carry within.
"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul know it very well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed subastance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me when as yet there were none of them. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you." ~Psalm 139:13-18
"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul know it very well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed subastance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me when as yet there were none of them. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you." ~Psalm 139:13-18
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Obedience or Rebellion
I am very S-L-O-W-L-Y going through Isaiah and as I completed chapter 1, many thoughts came to the forefront of my mind:
1. When we continue in our sin and live in hypocracy- God will judge and deal with our sin- especially when we are His own.
2. God promises: Though our sins are red like scarlett, they will be white as snow! God is in the cleansing, refining, and purifying His people buisness.
3. He alone changes us- it's His work and He will do it in His way for our good and for His glory.
4. God- when restoring His own- gives us 2 options:
a. be willing and obedient and see blessing
b. refuse and rebel and "be devoured with the sword."
When we choose disobedience ( and apart from the Grace of God, that is what we do choose), God will judge, God will purify (with fire), and God will restore. It is His work and it is done His way for His glory. WE can submit to His purging and recieve blessing or we can rebel and refuse and be "devoured with the sword" (Is. 1:20 )
What will be your response to His refining?
Lord- give us willing and submissive hearts especially during the difficult and often painful process of purging and cleansing in our lives. May we praise and glorify you even during these times and may we learn to walk in obedience to Your commands all the days of our lives.
1. When we continue in our sin and live in hypocracy- God will judge and deal with our sin- especially when we are His own.
2. God promises: Though our sins are red like scarlett, they will be white as snow! God is in the cleansing, refining, and purifying His people buisness.
3. He alone changes us- it's His work and He will do it in His way for our good and for His glory.
4. God- when restoring His own- gives us 2 options:
a. be willing and obedient and see blessing
b. refuse and rebel and "be devoured with the sword."
When we choose disobedience ( and apart from the Grace of God, that is what we do choose), God will judge, God will purify (with fire), and God will restore. It is His work and it is done His way for His glory. WE can submit to His purging and recieve blessing or we can rebel and refuse and be "devoured with the sword" (Is. 1:20 )
What will be your response to His refining?
Lord- give us willing and submissive hearts especially during the difficult and often painful process of purging and cleansing in our lives. May we praise and glorify you even during these times and may we learn to walk in obedience to Your commands all the days of our lives.
Friday, March 03, 2006
In Loving Memory of Nathan Joel
Today I reached a milestone that 5 and a half months ago seemed like ages away. Today is Nathan's due date. Unfortunately, I am sick today and feeling very terrible, and I guess that's okay, because I am missing our son. I wonder what He would have looked like and what he would have weighed...but what if's are not what God desires us to focus on. We are to press on toward the mark, no matter what trials come our way, so that we can finish the race of life hearing God's "well done." So, today I am thankful for the child the Lord blessed us with and am praising Him for what He has taught me throughout the last few months and look forward to what else He has to teach me until I meet my son in Heaven.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Hypocritical
I have ben reading Isaiah for the last few weeks and just started an actual "study" by Donna Partow . I really enjoyed reading Chapter one of Isaiah again last night and was challenged by the thoughts from the study. One thing that got me thinking was the topic of being hypocritical. Mrs. Partow asked us what are the prevailing emotions and motives when we are hypocritical. As I thought about it, I thought about the selfish aspect of thinking and acting. Usually if we are hypocritical it is because we want something for ourselves, good image, good opinions, or even attention. In Isaiah 1, the children of Israel were continueing to offer sacrifices to God and yet they were living sinful lives that displeased the Lord.
Sometimes as Christians, it is easy to be hypocritical. We can make everything look good just so we look good; sometimes we make it look bad just becuase we want attention. Those actions are actions of hypocracy. And that is something that displeases the Lord greatly. God deires us to walk in obedience to Him. He longs to bless us and prosper us...and yet too often we settle for just the opposite, His dissappointment and even sometimes His wrath.
Sunday, I was listening to Keith Green's song "To Obey is Better Than Sacrifice" and I was reminded about how God doesn't want motions of sacrificial worship...He wants us and true obedience. Obedience that comes from the heart. Obedience that is not hypocritical.
How can we have that true obedience? How can we live without hypocracy?
One of the first things that comes to mind is repentance. We must repent and ask the Lord's forgiveness and He will forgive us and and cleanse us from our unrighteous acts. (I Jn. 1:9) The next thing that comes to mind is to submit to the Lord and to have our mindset changed with His word (Romans 12:1-2). Ask Him to give us a heart of flesh to obey what He desires us to do and seek to abide in Him (spend time with Him and become one with Him heart and mind) (Exekiel 36:26-27/ John 15:1-7). And then obey. Walk in Obedience to His Word. He desires obedience. He desires us to truly walk in His ways with a clean heart. It is not easy to do and requires daily confession, submission, and surrender to Him to obey in a way that pleases Him. But, living without hypocracy and in true obedience is worth the effort and time.
Sometimes as Christians, it is easy to be hypocritical. We can make everything look good just so we look good; sometimes we make it look bad just becuase we want attention. Those actions are actions of hypocracy. And that is something that displeases the Lord greatly. God deires us to walk in obedience to Him. He longs to bless us and prosper us...and yet too often we settle for just the opposite, His dissappointment and even sometimes His wrath.
Sunday, I was listening to Keith Green's song "To Obey is Better Than Sacrifice" and I was reminded about how God doesn't want motions of sacrificial worship...He wants us and true obedience. Obedience that comes from the heart. Obedience that is not hypocritical.
How can we have that true obedience? How can we live without hypocracy?
One of the first things that comes to mind is repentance. We must repent and ask the Lord's forgiveness and He will forgive us and and cleanse us from our unrighteous acts. (I Jn. 1:9) The next thing that comes to mind is to submit to the Lord and to have our mindset changed with His word (Romans 12:1-2). Ask Him to give us a heart of flesh to obey what He desires us to do and seek to abide in Him (spend time with Him and become one with Him heart and mind) (Exekiel 36:26-27/ John 15:1-7). And then obey. Walk in Obedience to His Word. He desires obedience. He desires us to truly walk in His ways with a clean heart. It is not easy to do and requires daily confession, submission, and surrender to Him to obey in a way that pleases Him. But, living without hypocracy and in true obedience is worth the effort and time.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Children, burden or blessing?
Today is a special day to me. I am remembering 2 years ago when I was contracting every 5 minutes and wondering if I had overdone it. I went to bed February 28th still contracting although the spacing had let up to every ten minutes. I woke on February 29th,2004 (yes it was leap year) hemorraging and believing that my precious daughter had entered eternity. To my great joy, when we arrived at the hospital, I heard her heartbeat on the monitor and shortly saw her squirming on the ultrasound. A few hours later, she was born, 10:35am, by emergency c-section. I did not get to see her for two more days. However, I was grateful that day that my baby was alive!!!
Here is Lillian, out of her "extra special" home, the isollette, and in clothes given to her by Great Grandma Donna.
Now, two years later we are rejoicing that she is healthy, beautiful, and happy as a two year old!!! I can't believe it. The first six and a half weeks were such a rollercoster of emotions, me recovering and struggling with high blood pressure and Lillian in the hospital fighting (quite strongly) for her life. And now we happily enjoy her and are excited to look forward to another child due this fall.
I must admit that this morning didn't start out well. I have struggled so much with negativity in my life. I really get angry when people complain about my children and refer to them as burdens. I can't even begin to count the times that I hear, "You can't do ..... because of your girls" or "If I had to deal with your kids, I would lose it" or other hurtful comments like that. After the initial anger passes I begin to evaluate why these comments are made. Now I know I am NOT a perfect parent and I am praying and beseeching the Lord for my children's salvation and for them to grow to be like Him inspite of my sinfulness. But I really don't believe that those comments are meant for my children alone, but for children in general. For that is the world's mindset. Children interfere with "our" desires and the things that "I" may want to do. The feminist mindset is such: "pursue your dreams and goals...why bother wasting your mind on such a mindless and dead-end job like mothering". That, I believe is one of the greatest reasons that children are seen as a hinderance...thanks to the feminist's mindset...which really is a sinful mindset begun in the Garden of Eden with Eve.
The only way that mindest can be eradicated is with the Word of God. We must ask the Lord to change our minds and transform them into His mind. We need to develope a Biblical mindset to counter the ever present and sometimes dominating views and ideas of the world. So, I want to mention some verses that have helped to "transform" my mind in the last few years.
"Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, and the fruit of the womb a
reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's
youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be
put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate." Psalm 127:3-5
The psalmist here is talking about the Lord building the home and watching the city. It is vain to do anything without Him being the one orchestrating and watching over it. And then, the psalmist goes on to talk about children being the heritage God gives one. Nothing can we take out of this world outside of the souls of men and our children are a great responsibility and blessing that we can take with us to eternity. I have always liked that it says "like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth" because haveing children at a young age is like haveing arrows for battle. How awesome of a picture is that?! Children can be our greatest assets in this thing called life. And that is what a man (and his wife)are blessed with.
"Blessed is everyone who fears the LORD, who walks in his ways! You shall eat
the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be
well with you. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house;
your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, thus
shall the man be blessed who fears the LORD." Psalm 128:1-4
This passage is talking about the ones who fear the Lord and follow Him. This is how they are blessed: with a fruitful wife (in those days children were also considered among the wealth of a man. Barrenness was often thought of as a curse in those days.) and children like olive shoots (referring to a good number...which there is no set "number"). That is how the man who fears the Lord will be blessed. Not only that, but the psalm concludes with a blessing for that person to see their children's children (vs. 6). So even seeing your Grand-children is a great blessing from the LORD.
I could continue with many more, but I am going to have to stop here. Children are a GREAT blessing from the Lord, and if children are viewed as an inconvienience and a burden and a hinderance to what "one" wants to do, then it is to that persons's shame. As for me, I want to daily have my mindset changed and instead of being irritated at my children for any "inconvienience" thay may cause me, rejoice in them as the blessing and heritage they are from the LORD.
Here is Lillian, out of her "extra special" home, the isollette, and in clothes given to her by Great Grandma Donna.
Now, two years later we are rejoicing that she is healthy, beautiful, and happy as a two year old!!! I can't believe it. The first six and a half weeks were such a rollercoster of emotions, me recovering and struggling with high blood pressure and Lillian in the hospital fighting (quite strongly) for her life. And now we happily enjoy her and are excited to look forward to another child due this fall.
I must admit that this morning didn't start out well. I have struggled so much with negativity in my life. I really get angry when people complain about my children and refer to them as burdens. I can't even begin to count the times that I hear, "You can't do ..... because of your girls" or "If I had to deal with your kids, I would lose it" or other hurtful comments like that. After the initial anger passes I begin to evaluate why these comments are made. Now I know I am NOT a perfect parent and I am praying and beseeching the Lord for my children's salvation and for them to grow to be like Him inspite of my sinfulness. But I really don't believe that those comments are meant for my children alone, but for children in general. For that is the world's mindset. Children interfere with "our" desires and the things that "I" may want to do. The feminist mindset is such: "pursue your dreams and goals...why bother wasting your mind on such a mindless and dead-end job like mothering". That, I believe is one of the greatest reasons that children are seen as a hinderance...thanks to the feminist's mindset...which really is a sinful mindset begun in the Garden of Eden with Eve.
The only way that mindest can be eradicated is with the Word of God. We must ask the Lord to change our minds and transform them into His mind. We need to develope a Biblical mindset to counter the ever present and sometimes dominating views and ideas of the world. So, I want to mention some verses that have helped to "transform" my mind in the last few years.
"Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, and the fruit of the womb a
reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's
youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be
put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate." Psalm 127:3-5
The psalmist here is talking about the Lord building the home and watching the city. It is vain to do anything without Him being the one orchestrating and watching over it. And then, the psalmist goes on to talk about children being the heritage God gives one. Nothing can we take out of this world outside of the souls of men and our children are a great responsibility and blessing that we can take with us to eternity. I have always liked that it says "like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth" because haveing children at a young age is like haveing arrows for battle. How awesome of a picture is that?! Children can be our greatest assets in this thing called life. And that is what a man (and his wife)are blessed with.
"Blessed is everyone who fears the LORD, who walks in his ways! You shall eat
the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be
well with you. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house;
your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, thus
shall the man be blessed who fears the LORD." Psalm 128:1-4
This passage is talking about the ones who fear the Lord and follow Him. This is how they are blessed: with a fruitful wife (in those days children were also considered among the wealth of a man. Barrenness was often thought of as a curse in those days.) and children like olive shoots (referring to a good number...which there is no set "number"). That is how the man who fears the Lord will be blessed. Not only that, but the psalm concludes with a blessing for that person to see their children's children (vs. 6). So even seeing your Grand-children is a great blessing from the LORD.
I could continue with many more, but I am going to have to stop here. Children are a GREAT blessing from the Lord, and if children are viewed as an inconvienience and a burden and a hinderance to what "one" wants to do, then it is to that persons's shame. As for me, I want to daily have my mindset changed and instead of being irritated at my children for any "inconvienience" thay may cause me, rejoice in them as the blessing and heritage they are from the LORD.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Ultrasound Tomorrow Morning~ Updated
Please pray for me as tomorrow morning I am having another ultrasound done. I am really hoping that things will be good, but I must be still and let God do His work in my life as well as in the life of this child He has blessed us with.
" Glory in His holy name; let the hears of those who seek the LORD rejoice!
Seek the LORD and his strength; seek His presence continually" ~Ps. 105:3-4
Update: Ultrasound went good. Our baby measured right on for 8 weeks and the heartbeat was 154! I am so glad everything went well...and I am looking forward to seeing how this pregnancy continues to progress. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers.
" Glory in His holy name; let the hears of those who seek the LORD rejoice!
Seek the LORD and his strength; seek His presence continually" ~Ps. 105:3-4
Update: Ultrasound went good. Our baby measured right on for 8 weeks and the heartbeat was 154! I am so glad everything went well...and I am looking forward to seeing how this pregnancy continues to progress. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers.
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